Friday, April 29, 2011

How To Win Friends & Influence People

by Dale Carnegie

Aside from scriptures and the words of our prophets and apostles, this is one of the best books ever to be written. This, and Sheri Dew's 'No One Can Take Your Place.'
It's not just really good - it's INCREDIBLY eye-opening and insightful.
And I'm only on the 3rd chapter. (Although my parents read parts of it to us as teenagers for Family Home Evenings.)
Well written, easy to read, and GREAT stories.

If you haven't read it, I STRONGLY suggest you make it the next book you read (aside from scriptures, etc). And whoever reads this post, I'd be really interested to know if you have or have not read it.
Here are just a few of my favorite parts so far:
"Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment."

"Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving."

"'The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise'" (Charles Schwab).

"Of course flattery seldom works with discerning people. It is shallow, selfish and insincere. The difference between appreciation and flattery? One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out."

"Emerson said: 'Every man I meet is my superior in some way. In that, I learn from him.' If that was true of Emerson, isn't it likely to be a thousand times more true of you and me? Let's cease thinking of our accomplishments, our wants. Let's try to figure out the other person's good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be 'hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise,' and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime - repeat them years after you have forgotten them."

6 comments:

Baby Sister said...

Haven't read it, but I will add it to my list. :)

Patti said...

I'm adding it to my list too. I love the name garf barfield, and I love that you think of me when you think of spoonerisms. I think of Dave and how he told us at dinner group that he knows the origins of spooning. Also, I am SO sorry about your fall. My friend just broke her collar bone because she fell while running...so I guess it could always be worse. But those battle wounds look pretty intense. I'd pick up the phone an call you if it wasn't almost 11 there, but instead I'll just leave the longest comment EVER. Love you!

Allie said...

I have read it a couple of times. I really like it. If you like this book, you will also like a Modern Scholar series on communication. FACINATING! It was super good. Your library should have it. Just look up Modern Scholar.

Heidi said...

I picked it up when Isaac's dad recommended he read it. I, too, was really impressed with it. I especially found how true it is that if you (genuinely) say to someone, "I can understand why you ___________" they will be tons more likely to listen to your side of the story. They don't have to put up their defenses because you are already validating them. Now I want to read it again!

Sterling and Michelle said...

Those are really cool passages. Now I want to read it.

Heidi Perez said...

I'm so excited for everyone who hasn't read it yet to read it! I wish I could buy a million copies and give them away to ...well, the 400+ people I know (thanks to facebook). And the other 999,600 copies I guess I'd save for posterity...