A while ago on NPR's comedy show "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!", their guest was Dick Van Dyke. It's a funny show by itself, but a few things from this particular one were hilarious:
(listen to it here, or read the really funny parts below. But I just gotta say, listening to it is probably funnier [and only 11 minutes long].)
PETER SAGAL, host:
And now the game where we invite on great people to do silly things. It's called Not my Job. Our guest this week is a man whose TV shows and films are so beloved by so many, and watched over and over again by so many succeeding generations, that they named DVDs after him.
Dick Van Dyke's movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" is being released next month. His musical memoir "Step in Time" premiers in December at the Geffen Playhouse in L.A. Dick Van Dyke, welcome to WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!
Mr. VAN DYKE: Thank you, Peter. Hello everybody.
SAGAL: Hello. All right, I just got to be personal. I have watched you for so long. "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" was my favorite movie when I was a kid and I've watched "Mary Poppins" so many times and "The Dick Van Dyke Show." So my first question to you is will you be my dad?
Mr. VAN DYKE: I'm a little busy right now, Peter.
SAGAL: I understand.
Mr. VAN DYKE: I can be your grandpa.
SAGAL: That would be fine. I would take that at this point.
SAGAL: Dick Van Dyke, what a pleasure to have you on our show.
Your first question ... is about ... when a young man, Dick Nixon fell in love with one Pay Ryan, who was acting in a play with [him]. He courted her fiercely, including doing what?
A, composing a song in her honor, titled "Pat, Pat, You Make My Heart Go Pitter Pat."
B, driving her to and from dates with other men. Or
C, making what some say might be history's first ever mixed tape.
Mr. VAN DYKE: I think he wrote a song.
SAGAL: You're going to go with that?
Mr. VAN DYKE: Yeah.
SAGAL: Sadly, no, he did not write a song. He drove her to and from dates with other men.
She wasn't sure about him, but he sure did love her. So he would drive her to and from dates with other men and wait around, like in a bookstore or a movie theater, until she was done and drive her home.
Mr. VAN DYKE: Are you trying to say he was a pimp?
SAGAL: I'm sorry, but in the universe in which I live, you, Dick Van Dyke, do not know that word.